Dear Hurting Daughter of God

Dear Hurting Daughter of God,

First, I want you to know that you aren’t alone. That I’ve been where you’ve been. I’m still there and continuing to deal with it each and every day. Because I’ve been hurt, I’ve been betrayed, I’ve been scarred, but now, I’ve found freedom. And so will you.

Remember that guy who swept you off your feet and acted like you were his entire world? The one that made you feel so loved because he showed you off to the world and everyone seemed to know it. The one who called you just to tell you he cared and was thinking about you. And after those phone calls, you hung up feeling like your heart was glowing. Yeah, I remember that too.

But I’m sure you also remember seeing those messages from the girl he was seeing at the same time. The one that also felt that love from him. The girl who got the same phone calls and the same compliments. The one who also shared that love. And you had no idea.

The pain. The anger. The disgust. But most of all, the disappointment. At first, you put all of the blame on him. You told him how awful he was. The tears weren’t enough to explain the agony you were feeling, but not even the tears were enough to hide the vision of those messages. But without reason, you started blaming yourself. You started thinking you weren’t worthy. You weren’t deserving of someone. If you hadn’t messed up earlier on in the relationship, this wouldn’t have happened. And all of a sudden, someone else’s brokenness becomes your shame and it haunts you unlike anything else. 

Time has gone by, but you have a shackled and chained lock on your heart because you can’t bear to go through that same thing. Every person you go on a date with, you expect the same thing to happen again. You lose faith in all men. You lose faith in yourself. But most of all, you lose faith in God’s promises.

Here’s what I want to tell you. God wants you to become a woman with expectations.

You are not difficult. You need to become a woman who knows exactly what you deserve and what God knows you will have. You need to become a woman who understands her values, and dare I say it, worth. A woman who wants a man to chase God even faster than she can run. A woman whose man matches all of your values and treats you as such.

You need to understand that it takes courage to realize that someone who you thought was pulling you out of the darkness was actually only pushing you deeper. You don’t deserve someone who doesn’t text or call you back. You don’t need to love someone who makes you feel like you're second choice. You don’t deserve someone who pulls you away from God because he thinks he should be number one. Daughter of God, please remember You are HIS before you are anyone else’s.

God allowed that hurting situation to happen because He has greater things in the works. It’s so difficult while we are blind and hurting and sometimes not knowing which way is up. But God’s word tells us in Proverbs 31:30, “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.” He wants you to believe every part of that. It’s not your pretty face that attracts the right man. It’s not your body weight. It’s not your job. It’s your heart. It’s your heart that is fully and evidently given all to God. One who is confident in your Lord that He is going to place a man there who wants to build you more and more each day. Who wakes you up in the morning to read the bible together. Who is a servant to others side by side, hand in hand. Who have struggles just like any other couple, but shows compassion instead of anger in order to fix it. A man who sits in a closet with you to pray out to God over your family and your marriage. That is a man after God and that is who you deserve.

I know it’s difficult to imagine. You may still be broken and hurting. And that’s okay. If we all weren’t broken, God’s light would not be able to shine through us. If you think you loved the wrong man that much, think about how much you can love the right one. Until then, I want you to pursue your heart in God’s. He wants you to seek Him first. You must learn to reject the lie that anything or anyone else can satisfy you. He wants you to speak faithfully. Learn to love others with such godly wisdom, confidence, and kindness. Once you start to love others this way, the same will be returned. He wants you to show your true beauty. Your appearance will continue to change, so invest in what will last. He wants you to stay humble and constantly aware of the enemy provoking pride and selfishness in your life. Never think less of yourself but of yourself less. And last, He wants you to serve Him. If you set your mind on eternal things, continue to serve the Unlimited, and live only to please Him, you will be rewarded and you will find freedom.  

“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” — MATTHEW 6:33-34